As the years go by, I find myself slowly losing an important part of who I am and slowly forgetting a language that was important part of my life. Sign Language. For those who are not aware, I am hard of hearing in the right ear and deaf in the left ear but if you spoke to me you would never guessed that I suffer from hearing loss at first until I utter the following words I hate saying: "Excuse me?" "Didn't hear what you said" or "Can you please repeat that?" or sometimes I just don't even bother because people get annoyed by having to repeat themselves.
Ever since I left the school for the deaf which was mainstreamed with hearing kids and as time goes by I find myself feeling very much alone because I am not around others like me. So I slowly loose the knowledge of sign language and its very frustrating because for 13 years it was a big factor in my life. Best way I can explain it is that its like losing the ability to speak. Imagine talking daily then gradually loosing your speech and then you could no longer talk. THAT is what losing the ability to read and speak sign language is like. When I do try to sign with others, I find myself sign stuttering or pausing because I cannot remember the sign.
Last night, I was watching a video that one of my friends posted and I tried so hard to follow the conversation which was in sign language and I felt like yelling at it going WHERES THE CAPTIONING, since I watch tv with captioning when people talk it helps out.
Anyhow, I am just rambling on right now and just feeling alone because I miss my friends I grew up with and signed with.
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